Sit Down, Be Humble

Recently, I had found myself in a funk.

Doubting myself... doubting where I was in life and the Lord's timing... so lost as to what the actual heck I was to be doing. 

And boy was I humbled...

Problem #1....

NEVER doubt who you are...

I am a 21 year old single college girl livin in THE MOST competitive time of my life.. And it is SO hard not to doubt yourself! You look to your left and think someone is prettier than you... then you look to your right and wish you had the same success as someone else.

Feelin misplaced... feelin like I'm a nobody and that I'll never {compare} to those other perfect girls (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that... guys included)

But sheeeeshhh what is wrong with me for lettin the adversary get me to believe all of those things?!

That stuff will DESTROY us! Comparison is one of Satan's favorite tools!

So let me now re-phrase...

I am a 21 year old single college girl livin in THE BEST time of my life. I don't have the time of dayyy to start doubtin myself.

I should look to my left and think, "wow they are beautiful!" ... Then look to my right and think, "dang I am so happy for them!" 

And most importantly I should look in the mirror and think "I... am beautiful! I am out here LIVIN... Look at me... I am gettin a degree and I have come so far!"
I have these awesome strengths of my own, and I also have my weaknesses... But so does EVERYONE ELSE!
And Frankly the perfect girl or guy that everyone is tryin to compare themselves to... DOESN'T EXIST...
The only {perfect} being to have ever walked the Earth is {Jesus Christ}
If you are trying to be like the "perfect person", then try to be like HIM... become perfected THROUGH HIM.
So when I'm walkin on campus with no makeup, unbrushed hair, and my fave sweats I shouldn't be worried about what people think... First of all I should feel lucky to have such comfy sweatpants... But also how lucky am I to feel confident enough in my own skin to strut out in public like that! Haha it's silly... but honestly though! 

If we don't love ourselves and see our own worth and beauty... how sad must that make our Heavenly Father? I mean he created us in his image right?

 He KNOWS us and LOVES us and is PROUD of our successes and even our failures.

Problem #2....

NEVER... goodness never doubt or question the Lord's timing cause he will SURELY correct that reaaaal fast.

I felt like I didn't understand what in the actual heck I was supposed to be doing with my life... 

Was Provo even the right place for me to be anymore?

I even texted my mom saying, "frankly, I don't see where God is tryin to have me be right now or when things are supposed to finally come my way."

Literally we can all LOL at that because it doesn't work how we want it... it's not on our time... it's on his time. And bless my heart for thinkin otherwise for even a millisecond.

I think all of my pants are gonna have even more holes in them than they came with when I bought them because I've been on my knees so much...

Asking God so many questions... 

I was lookin for even the simplest response to questions that I wanted the answers to and that I felt I was ready for and needed most. 

Except the Lord said Not todayyyyy...
He answered my prayers... just not the way {I} thought I needed. And all of us are stubborn and want what we want... but that's where we have to give it to the Lord and open our heart to be able to hear and accept what he is telling us.
And that's always how it ends up working right?

Who am I to doubt such an amazing God when he has gotten me through so much already?
{HE} has gotten me this far and has blessed my life in ways I didn't see comin.

I should know by now that {HE} knows what I need and when I need it. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

So here I am now, livin this amazing life... that I feel I don't even deserve but am eternally grateful for.
Here I am, havin {joy} in this amazing life.

Do I know where I am goin? Nope... Honestly I don't really a single clue...

But I have a peaceful heart knowing that wherever it is that I am heading... is where God has intended for me to be...
And the God that I know, isn't gonna lead me to anywhere except {ultimate joy}.

xoxo - Jacey Lane