Be Still My Soul

 Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;

With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

I'm pretty sure that this hymn has been the most played song on my phone the past few weeks. The words have such deep meaning to me and have brought me so much peace. 

If I could've seen something like this coming in my life before hand, I would have imagined that
I would be in complete disarray... and thought that my life was over and that there was no way I would recover.
And although no one could have prepared me for the trial I faced, I have felt as though I was prepared for it throughout the entire thing. Because {God} had prepared me for it.
The Lord blessed me in so many ways and with little tender mercies. It felt almost like he carried me the entire way. I was given a clear mind and open eyes that I only could have had through my savior. 

So was my life a mess for a week or two? Absolutely, hahaha it was a TOTAL mess... Getting things situated took so much patience.
Was I confused? Yes. Was it frustrating? Yes.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people probably thought that I was thinking that my life is over. But, I know that my life is only beginning and trials may and will come, and unexpected difficulties will appear.
I have learned SO much from what happened. Not only about what I need and deserve in a spouse, but I have also learned so much more about myself.
I will continue to trust in the lord and know that he has a plan for me and to just try my best to bring him joy and keep to the path he has set for me and trust in his timing. I know that my experiences these past few years have happened for a reason. Maybe it's to help a future daughter. Or to give my compassion to other sisters around me struggling through similar trials and heartache.
Whatever it is, I know that I have been blessed and am being taken care of every step of the way by my heavenly father who sees me through all things. 

D&C 101: 14-16; 35-38 reads:

14 And all they who have mourned shall be comforted.

 15 And all they who have given their lives for my name shall be crowned.

 16 Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.

 35 And all they who suffer persecution for my name, and endure in faith, though they are called to lay down their lives for my sake yet shall they partake of all this glory.

 36 Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.

 37 Therefore, care not for the body, neither the life of the body; but care for the soul, and for the life of the soul.

 38 And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life.

Like the hymn says... Be still my soul... thru thorny ways, leads to a joyful end... When change and tears are past... All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

xoxo - Jacey Lane