I'm sure many of you have heard of my latest happenings in life. And sometimes I find that writing about it is a little helpful to explain it all. Many of you have continued to ask me how I feel now, and what happened and if I'm okay.. So, I share this experience not to get your pity, or sorrow for me, but because hopefully this can help you all come to understand my answer, and so that you can come to feel as much peace and comfort as I do. 2 Saturdays ago, I was writing addresses on wedding invitations and talking to my fiance, getting ready to mail out the first bunch. We were getting married in 2 weeks. And then in less than 6 hours, my entire life felt as though it had exploded. Being happily engaged and in love with someone that you were planning on saying "I do forever" to, you would never expect that in those 6 hours, you would no longer be needing to send out those wedding invitations. We were supposed to go to dinner with his parents that eve...
Many people have not yet heard the story about how James popped the big question.... So... here it goes. How James pulled off the world's biggest surprise: Last Sunday evening, James said that we should do something fun the next day before he had to work. It had been awhile since we had been able to go on a nice date together.... He also asked me if I wanted to go Ring Shopping as a part of our date too. I looooved that idea. We had never gone looking at rings together before, so I was over the moon about the idea! So.... Monday comes and we head out to go to lunch at Red Fuego {a favorite of ours} After lunch we went to 4 or 5 different ring stores around town and it was a blast. Our future was becoming even more real as we experienced choosing rings that we liked together. After ring shopping, we had some time before James had to go to work. It was a nice day out, so we decided to go for a walk in downtown Provo and around the Provo City C...
The past couple of weeks I found that I had been having a difficult time, kind of beating myself up; feeling full of regrets and "would have's" and "could have's". Thinking back on the last 3 roller coaster years of my life and thinking of all of the trials I have been put through. Hearing people talk about it all and bring it up to me, I found myself getting so frustrated. I found myself putting the blame on me. Thinking : "If I would have chosen a different path, I could have avoided all of this pain." "If I would've chosen differently, maybe I would have ended up with the right person from the start." "If I would have left sooner, I would not have gotten hurt." "If I would have stood up for myself sooner, I could have avoided the mistreatment." "If I would have, then I could have..." All of these thoughts and more just circling my mind over and over; wishing I could go back in tim...
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